Since Olivia has set me in a Star Wars mood with her previous, shrewdly hilarious post, I shall too give my part of the story. (Ripped off from someone's blog.)
REBATE OF THE SIP
Warning: Contains Singlish spoilers.
Everyone should enjoy Star Wars Ep 3; Even the ah bengs. I got a lot of good responses from the Ah Beng version of the Architect's speech from Matrix (I think brown post up for me- i dunno how to trackback, sianz). So here’s a ah beng friendly version of the events of the movie. Warning contains singlish spoilers.
XING XING SIO PA: LUMBER TWEE
REBATE OF THE SIP
HESPISODE TWEE:
(slanted text)
Now suma lang sio pa. ok bian kong liao. Kwa hee!
SPECIAL EFFECTS START LIAO:
The separatists (Chope for trivia: Last time Singapore also separatist leh) with the lobot ahmy fight against the clone war. Clone means all the army one kind one (Chope: SAF also dem one kind one). So fight lor. All mobilize. Open mob, silent mob, simi gui ya mob. Golden banana, flying shoe, all mob mob mob. Even the navy ship mob until become robot and fight on land. Who fight at water after that I also dun know.
So Kopi One (is it because he like to go to coffeeshop and shout “Kopi one, uncle! Kay Kopi ok? Kopi one kay kopi!” – actually he can order Kopi kao but Gwai Lang Gone neber teach properly- blame MOE). So he fly with Aneekin (in hokkien mean “Wah, so fast” coz he grow up so fast- win the girl growing up speed). So the two jedi fly and fight the lobot to rescue some Minister Xi Dee Us. Actually now he is call Chancellor coz now got chance.
So fight lor. Then fight General Grevious. Is this robot that always cough. Maybe smoking too much. I dunno. Got hi tech si mi sai until whole body robot but never fix his cough (these clinic sometimes luan luan jo one). So I think he call General grevious coz he is like Generally grevious lor. Everything also must replace until robot and then only small part is still natural type but EVEN THEN also kenna cough. LLPL right? Like dat also I will sure turn to dark side one. Where got meaning?
So they save the minister lor. Then go back to spacedock and Aneekin quickly secretly meet with his secret wife out in the open. Sometimes Aneekin do things too kin liao. Scully hor lang kwa- si ah! Bway jai si, ji kor! So he meet with his secret wife (not PRC one- real one). His wife is princess ah mei da lah (translated means “smack my beeeatch up”. So ah mei also got the donut hair (she very fashion one).
Ah mei say she going to sae kia. Ask how like dat. If cannot tell gahmen means no rebate leh. Aneekin say “bian kia, lim peh kao tim” (but actually he say only lah. I think he also blur liao, can see his face kan cheong).
At night Aneekin cannot sleep properly. He stress until bway tahan. Go out to nice service balcony. Moral of this part of the story is: rich pipple also got pawblem.
Next day Aneekin meet the minister again. Minister say- want to promote him. Maybe like nominated MP or backbencher type position. Wah good lor. If become minister then maybe can vote on pay rise – of course sure vote yes lor.
Later Jedi council say why minister luan luan lai one. Anyhow suka suka appoint him to council. Then jedi council jo simi sai liddat. Tng choo ah? Jedi say ok lor, you join council but dun expect to be promoted to Jedi master. We all got standard one ok?
Aneekin also bway song. Basket. Where got “council but not master” tai ji one. They also suka suka one. Basket. Some more ask him to spy on minister. Siao ah. Wait kenna ISD call for tea leh.
Later Aneekin go and find minister again. Minister at theatre see show (look like Serk De So Leh). Minister say last time got one super dark side master can even make dead people come back to life. I think true. I mean, some minister very powerful one leh. If mother comprain to minister, can get son out of the Clone army one. Keng king some more.
Meanwhile Kopione go to find the asthmatic robot (maybe his name should be George Mucus HAHAHAHAHA …ahem). So he ride this noisy lizard shouting all over the place until go straight into the pai lang HQ. but lucky this lizard also tactical one. Not even fart while waiting. Good leh. So Kopione fight and shoot the robot’s heart lor. You see? Save money until – most important part of body neber protect. I mean $5 more get some cheap Tupperware at pasha malam to at least cover up lah.
But Aneekin also find out this minister is actually Daaf Xi Dee Aas (Daaf Dying Kid Backside) and then no choice have to report police (jedi police). So Mace come to arrest him but scully Mace Window crashing thru the windu. Why the minister place so windy when Aneekin condo balcony so open one? Siao weather. But now the minister face kenna his own electric shock (PUB bill sure very high one, all ten fingers chuut tian leh)
So Aneekin also give up lor. He go to kill all the chow jedi. After that, the library all full of See Ghee Nah. Terok ah.
Meanwhile, the minister go to parliament and ownself give promotion to Emperor (like last time in china). How can minister anyhow give himself promotion and create new position? This george lucas so unrealistic. These kind of thing never happen in real life one. Never. Never ever never. Where got right?
So Yoda (ie Mr Miyagi but shorter and longer ears but also go to gym a lot I think), yoda go and fight with minister. Minister anyhow throw things at him. If not minister, sure kenna fine for killer litter one. But what to do. One eye close.
So Kopione go and settle with Aneekin at Mustafah Shopping Centre (even during volcano eruption, still open- got standard leh). So they fight and in the end Aneekin kenna burn at Mustafah (maybe coz he is tourist there so kenna burn?).
Lucky Senator Bail Organizer come in to organize a bail out the last 2 jedi and the princess. In the end, the princess got twins (how come the Gynea droid never do ultrasound scan? Wah lau eh). Maybe one baby use the force "I am not the baby you are scanning for" and bluff the ultrasound nurse. But only 2 kids, not 3 so no baby bonus. So sad until she die. Wasted. Dunno if got medishield.
So senator take the girl coz he say his wife want girl. So he take girl back and tell wife, “Eh lau puo, you know you wanted a zha bor kia right? Eh i got one free leh. No need to queue. Senator mah. I told you gahmen people got spesure one. Oh by the way the zha bor kia probably got a lot of mady chlorine coz she is the kid of the most powerful evil pai lang in the galaxy and just killed almost all the jedi. Cute right?”
Then the boy they take to Tattoo Inn and let his uncle and auntie look after. This couple very clever one. They will secretly hide him but will still keep his surname which just happens to be the most powerful pai lang in the galaxy. Maybe skywalker surname very common like Tan like dat. If call Luke Tan also I dunno is my kid or not.
So Aneekin burn until chow ta so chow ta wear black lor. In the last part, we see they all building something big. Its big and will take years to finish. When its finish it will bring terror to some and power to others. Yes, they all building casino. What to do? Gahmen is gahmen.
ZHONG (that mean finish liao)
Hope you all enjoyed that. =
